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Clients from Hell

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I work for a fixture-making company in a small, industrial town.  They’ve been in business for sixty...

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Lenigrast

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I work for a fixture-making company in a small, industrial town.  They’ve been in business for sixty two years, and their employee lineup has been pretty much the same since the past twenty-thirty years.  My boss doesn’t know a GIF from a giraffe, but he tries to act all computer savvy anyway.  Since he’s old and probably can’t see very well, his computer screen is half the size of a car dashboard.

Me: So here’s the online flyer I designed for you.  This one is a PNG, so the color’s going to be a lot richer, which is good, since the flyer uses a lot of darker shades and JPG makes it look dim and brownish.

Client: But I want it saved as a JPG, not a pong.

Oh, by the way, he pronounces PNG as “pong.” No, I don’t know why.

Me: I saved it in two file formats, sir.  And it’s pronounced “PNG”, not “Pong”.

Client: (making no indication that he heard me) Did you save it as a JPG?

Me: Yes, of course.

Client: Good.  Now, this is for the Facebook page, so I need you to resize it.  Make it smaller.

Me: Actually, I won’t have to: once it gets uploaded, it automatically resizes itself to be the correct size.  It only looks big because your screen makes it look big.  Besides, if you’re going to send it to Facebook, I really do suggest using the PNG, since its color is more rich.

Client: But we’re not going to upload it. We’re just going to put it on Facebook. I wanted to see how it looks on the site.  So resize it.  And save it as a JPG this time, I don’t want to have to deal with any pongs.

Me: But sir, when it gets uploaded, it’ll set itself to the right size automatically.  It only looks big on your screen because your images all look bigger on it.  And it’s “PNG”

Client: I asked you for a JPG, not a pong, and it’s too big for the page.  It’ll look bad.  It’ll be too big on the page.

Me: PNG, sir. And again, if you decide to upload it…

Client: (talking over me) We’re not uploading anything.

Me: …it’ll turn itself to the right size.  Your clients will be able to see it just fine, and it won’t be overpowering like you think it will.

Client: Just resize it.  No Pongs.  And this discussion is finished.

Me: But…

Client: STOP ARGUING WITH ME AND DO YOUR JOB.  CAN’T YOU DO YOUR JOB?  YOU’RE ALWAYS ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW MORE THAN ME, CORRECTING ME, TALKING BACK TO ME. STOP IT. NOW GO BACK TO YOUR DESK.

I was honestly stunned and couldn’t’ say anything or move.

Client: (threateningly pointing to the door) Get back to your desk.


Source: Clients from Hell

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