Client: I need to have these as soon as humanly possible.

Me: No problem. I just need to know the size, number of copies, and any additional parameters for how you need them printed before I can do anything. Once I have that information, I will put in your order with the printer immediately.

Two days pass. 

Client: Where is my order? I need these now!

Me: As I stated before, I need to know the parameters you need this printed with, otherwise I can’t submit the order.

Client: What on earth are these parameters you’re talking about? I just want it printed.

Me: I told you, I need to know the size, copies, cut, and exactly how you want it printed. I said that in my first email.

Client: Oh, I didn’t read that.

Source: Clients from Hell