An acquaintance of mine contacted me on Facebook.
I already didn’t like him very much.
Client: So you’re the most awesomest person in the world right?
Me: What do you want.
Client: See, now why do you automatically assume I want something? Maybe I just want to tell you that you’re awesome.
Client: Buuuuuut now that I think about it, do you want to have fun mixing these two tattoos together and making something awesome?
Me: My hourly freelance design rate is $XX. For rush jobs add 40%.
Client: See now, I feel like we’ve known each other long enough that I should get the “friend discount” of “free.”
Me: No. Tattoos aren’t normally my specialty I’d be tacking on probably an extra 1.5-2 hours of research time. minimum
Client: I think negotiations are breaking down. How about trading your services for you being able to name my first child, in the case that I get someone pregnant?
Me: The only thing I can offer a possible child of yours is pity.
Client: So pity in exchange for a tattoo? Good deal.