I used to play in a string quartet with some of my orchestra friends from high school. One time, a lady from my church contacted me to have my quartet play at a tea event. No big deal, I send her our hourly rates (we kept rates for gigs low since we are students). After a MONTH of no replies, I received this email back:

Client: We decided that we can afford two of you at the most 3 for a flat fee of (amount) each. We know you will be missing a rehearsal so we are hoping that this will help…

Me: We are a string quartet. Therefore, we play music written for four people. All four of us can come and play, and you can pay the rest of my quartet. I will donate my time to the church as a volunteer.

Client: Ok, we will see you at the event.

The tea rolls around, and we come and play some background music for the duration of the event.

Client: (after the event) Wow! We were so impressed by your performance that we have generously decided to pay all of you by your normal rates!

I’m just surprised we actually got the payment we asked for in the first place.

Source: Clients from Hell