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Clients from Hell

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I work for a small Print shop that specializes in decals. We offer a layout service for the design...

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I work for a small Print shop that specializes in decals. We offer a layout service for the design for free for customers. We also offer a full on logo design and branding services but that comes at a fee. These services are both cleary advertised on our website and flyers. Most of our clientele don’t care all that much as long as they have their name and number on their stickers, but every once in a while I get what I call the “next McDonald’s” guy.

This is the origin story of that name.

Client: I want some stickers and I want them to be good.

I complete the set of proofs and send them out.

Client: Where is my logo?

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had one, you didn’t mention it. Do you have a website where I can get it? Or a file or pic you can send over?

Client: No, you are supposed to make me one.

Me: well, I can do some minor designs, but unless you pay for the actual Logo Design service, my boss won’t let me design anything too complicated.

Client: That’s not what I want though…

Me: I’ll tell you what, I can do up a couple of simple designs, nothing major, and certainly nothing to brand your company with, but it will give your decals some nice appeal.

I do this because I’m a nice guy and I want to keep my reputation untarnished since almost all my clients love me and I have a great relationship with them. I spend roughly 30 minutes and bang out about 6 designs in Illustrator since I pride myself on being very fast.

Client: I don’t like any of these. I want an iconic logo, like the McDonalds Golden Arches! Design me something exactly like that.

Me: Ok, I can’t just blatantly rip off a major logo, but I’ll try something else.

This time I spend about an Hour on 6 new different logos. I try to keep it simple with a solid silhouette, good design, strong coloring etc. My coworkers love all the designs but are getting a kick out me dodging the boss and scrambling to do a good job. At the same time, the client has called multiple times and just complains about why I haven’t gotten this to him yet. My coworkers cover for me, which was great of them, but I’m quickly running out of patience with this guy.

Client: I still don’t like these.

Me: Look, man, we are already at over 12 different designs. My boss usually only lets me do 3. I have a bunch of clients besides you that I have to manage too. If I spend any more time on this I will have no choice but to bill you for logo design services. Please make a choice.

Client: Can’t you do any better designs?

Me: Not unless you pay us for it.

Client: Your company is just greedy and doesn’t do anything for your customers. I should take my business elsewhere!

Me: You’re right. We are greedy bastards and yes you should fu…

Client: ….

When my boss found out I’d spoken to a client that way, he was not pleased, but I felt great. And to this day when a client thinks he can get something for nothing I call him “the next McDonald’s.”

Source: Clients from Hell

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