Client: Help! My phones aren’t working!
Me: Is the internet working?
Me: Are there any lights on the modem?
Client: There’s no light under the “internet” slot, no.
Me: Have you tried restarting the Router by unplugging it and plugging it back in?
Client: Yes, it didn’t do anything.
Me: Let me check the access point…. It appears our access point is offline, so there’s definitely a problem.
Client: Would that have anything with us turning the power off on the tower?
Me: You mean the tower with all the ISP equipment?
Client: Yeah – is that a problem?
Me: Well, yes, if you turned off the power to the tower, that would explain why you don’t have internet or phone access.
Client: How soon can you fix everything?
Me: How soon can you turn the tower back on?
Client: Well, that might be a problem. We didn’t turn it “off.” We stopped paying the electrical bill for that because we didn’t think it was doing anything.
Me: You cut off the power to all of your ISP equipment, and now you want me to fix it from my end?
Client: Yes! Please hurry.
I hope he found a full minute of awkward silence helpful, because that’s all he was going to get from me.