Client: We need uniforms designed and made for our new hotel: reception, maid, bellboy, barman, cook and waiters. 50 employees, 3 uniforms per person.

Me: We can absolutely do that. When is your deadline?

Client We open on Thursday, so we need everybody dressed and ready to go by then.

Me: This Thursday?

Client: Yes! Can you do it?

Me: Nooooooooooooooooooope. 

Source: Clients from Hell