Client: Hello, how are you? I require your services.

Me: Hello there, I’m doing great thank you, hope you are also. Which of my services are you looking for specifically?

Client: Well, I’m a new user and could really use your help.

Me: I’m sorry for any confusion, but I do offer many services. I need your help to know exactly what I can help you with.

Client: YOU ARE THE RUDEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET.

Source: Clients from Hell