I was at my local pub, watching a Chiefs game. Most everybody knew who I was and that I was a designer/photographer. A dude I didn’t know came up to me - he owned a handyman business, and had learned I was a graphic designer, and asked if I’d do some work for him.

Client: Can you make me a logo and design some shit for me? I need some flyers and business cards and whatever. Maybe some pictures. I can give you a percentage of money that comes any business I get from this stuff.

Me: (stunned) No, I require at least a deposit to start any work. You wouldn’t roof a house if someone only paid you if it didn’t leak after ten years, would you?

Client: (exasperated) Well, what if it doesn’t work? I could only pay you if you got me some business.

Me: Well, your marketing isn’t my problem. I provide design and print brokering services. I don’t guarantee the success of your business.

Client: Must be nice, being able to turn down good work! Some of us have REAL jobs!

At least the Chiefs won that afternoon.

> Want to know if freelancing is for you?

Source: Clients from Hell