Client: So can we just pay you over time?
Me: Over time? Like, time and a half, or in installments?
Client: Well we’ll give you a dollar for every jar of our product we sell, until you are paid off.
Me: I need payment up front. I can’t guarantee your product will be successful.
Client: We were afraid of that happening, and we need all the money we can get. You’ll get paid eventually. Just give us the design.
Why, oh why, couldn’t he have meant time and a half?