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Clients from Hell

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One weekend I received numerous missed calls and a Facebook friend request from someone I didn’t recognize. I rarely take business calls at weekends, and don’t answer calls from unknown numbers unless I’m expecting them. I figure if it’s something important, they’ll leave a voicemail. Against my best judgement, I wrote back to see what he wanted.

Client: Thanks for getting in touch, we’re looking for someone to rewrite 10 pages for a business website, and optimize each page for Google, using keywords provided

Me: Great - that sounds like something I can do, send me the details. 

We agree on a time frame, price, etc, so I send him the first page of text, just to make sure it’s exactly what he’s looking for. This is what he sent me. NOTE: While I’ve edited this to make it anonymous, otherwise this is what he wrote.

Client: Thank you for your first page but this is not what we need, there are pros and cons. I like the way you use blocks of info that I can switch the order without altering the info, but the info of first paragraph doesn’t promote the service. Why our services? because they are reliable, professional, secure, easy to booked, all that king of jargon when you are talking about a service provide for a company. Also you forgot to use the related keywords in the body content.

(For the record, I absolutely did use the keywords.)

Client: I think you  should give a quick look to these links, surly you will identify the format easily. my client wants simple but easy to the promotion of his service. the page you create is an article mention at the very end who they we need to promote a service. To tell people.  

At this point, he sent me three example websites that his company had done for clients previously. In each example keywords were stuffed into every sentence so that it was pretty much unreadable.

Me: Thanks for the feedback. I have included the related keywords, although perhaps not repeated as many times as in the example articles. In my experience of SEO, it’s better to only use the keyword sparingly, especially in headers and at the beginning of paragraphs, which is what I’ve tried to do. Overusing the keyword makes the piece unreadable, and will deter any customers who may land on the site. It is better to provide informative and useful text, which is far more valuable.

Client: I appreciate your input, however valuable customer information isn’t what we require. We only want to rank on Google. These example pages all appear on the first page of Google for their relative keywords. 

Reluctantly, I went back and completed the task as he asked. It was like my whole body was screaming “NOOOOO!” 

It was actually painful for me to write, but I got it done and got paid. 

> Want to know if freelancing is for you?

Source: Clients from Hell

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